gre寫作真題解析

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gre寫作真題解析

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The following is a letter that recently appeared in the Oak City Gazette,a local newspaper:

"Membership in Oak City's Civic Club,a club whose primary objective is to discuss local issues,should continue to be restricted to people who live in Oak City.People who work in Oak City but who live elsewhere cannot truly understand the business and politics of the city.It is important to restrict membership to city residents because only residents pay city taxes and therefore only residents understand how the money could best be used to improve the city.At any rate,restricting membership in this way is unlikely to disappoint many of the nonresidents employed in Oak City,since neighboring Elm City's Civic Club has always had an open membership policy,and only twenty-five nonresidents have joined Elm City's Club in the last ten years."

滿分范文賞析

This speaker of the letter recommends that membership in Oak City's Civic Club,the primary objective of which is to discuss local issues,be limited to local residents only.To support this recommendation,the author claims that since only residents pay local taxes they are the only people who sufficiently understand local business and political issues.The author cites the fact that in the last ten years very few non-residents of Oak City who work in Oak City have joined nearby Elm City's civic club,which is an open club and so the new regulation is not probable to disappoint.The argument is based on two critically flawed elements.Lets explore them.

【此段結(jié)構(gòu)】

本段采用了標準的Argument開頭段結(jié)構(gòu)，即：C–E-F的開頭結(jié)構(gòu)，首句概括原文的C(Conclusion)。接下來的一句話概括了原文為了支持他的結(jié)論所引用的E(Evidence)。最后尾句中給出開頭段到正文段的過渡句，指出原文在邏輯上存在F(Flaw)。

【此段功能】

本段作為Argument開頭段，具體功能就在發(fā)起攻擊。首先，概括原文的結(jié)論：推薦Oak(簡稱O)City’s Civic Club只給當?shù)鼐用駮T權(quán)利。接下來分別列舉了原文為了支持這個結(jié)論引用的證據(jù)：一是因為當?shù)鼐用窠欢?，所以只有他們才能了解當?shù)氐纳虡I(yè)和政治;相鄰的Elm(簡稱E)City’s Civic Club采用開放會員制導致當?shù)鼐用窈苌偌尤搿Ｗ詈簏c出原文存在邏輯錯誤，引出后面的分析。

To begin with,the letter fails to adequately support the claim that since only residents pay local taxes only they truly understand local business and political issues.Being a taxpayer does not afford one an understanding of local business and political issues.This is a nonsensical assumption.Moreover,common sense tells me that local business people,residents or not,would probably be more intimately involved in many such issues than local residents who do not have business interests in the town.

【此段結(jié)構(gòu)】

本段采用了標準的Argument正文段結(jié)構(gòu)，即：概括第一個邏輯錯誤的錯誤類型和原文犯錯位置，接下來給出合理的理由和他因來反駁原文。

【此段功能】

本段作為正文第一段，攻擊文章犯的主要邏輯錯誤：因果類錯誤。作者認為居民pay tax并不代表他們了解local business和politic。作者認為原文中這種假設(shè)是毫無根據(jù)的。進一步，作者提出當?shù)氐腷usiness people應(yīng)該會對business issue更感興趣。

In further support of the recommendation,the letter cites the fact that nearby Elm City's civic club is open to any person,yet very few Oak City business people who are not residents have joined Elm City's club in the last ten years.Elm City clubs policy has not been shown to have any relation to Oak City’s policy.It is possible,for instance,that these business people have no connection with Elm City whatsoever,or that these business people have been members of Elm City's civic club for longer than ten years.The author must eliminate these possibilities in order to rely justifiably on this evidence for his or her recommendation.

【此段結(jié)構(gòu)】

本段采用了標準的Argument正文段結(jié)構(gòu)，即：概括第二個邏輯錯誤的錯誤類型和原文犯錯位置，接下來給出合理的理由和他因來反駁原文。

【此段功能】

本段作為正文第二段，攻擊文章犯的主要邏輯錯誤：錯誤類比。對于原文中對兩城市sick leave的比較，作者應(yīng)當建立在兩城市對本地居民的錄用率相同，已經(jīng)雇員中本地居民的比例相同這兩個前提下。原文缺乏對這些前提的說明，所以不能從sick leave比較中得到結(jié)論。

In conclusion,the letter's author fails to adequately support the recommendation that Oak City civic club membership should be restricted to local residents.To strengthen the argument,the author should consider clear evidence that non-residents who work in Oak City do not understand local issues as well as residents do.To better evaluate the argument,an audience should be provided more information about why non-resident business people in Oak City have not joined Elm City's civic club during the last ten years.

【此段結(jié)構(gòu)】

本段采用了標準的Argument結(jié)尾段結(jié)構(gòu)，即：C–S的結(jié)尾結(jié)構(gòu)，首先再次重申原文的站不住腳的Conclusion，接下來給出給合理建議Suggestion。

【此段功能】

本段作為Argument結(jié)尾段，具體功能就總結(jié)歸納+建議措施，首先再次重申原文中“把O地Civic Club會員只限制給當?shù)鼐用瘛斑@一提議不合理，接下來給出是文章更有說服力的合理的建議：同時，他必須另外提供證據(jù)說明A公司的新設(shè)備新經(jīng)理使得A公司與Good Intention相比具有higher level。最后vice president還要說明其他公司與這兩家公司相比較是怎樣的情況。結(jié)尾段的三條建議非常規(guī)整的隱射前面的三個錯誤，前后呼應(yīng)，文章有力結(jié)尾，渾然一體。

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