怎么寫好托福作文
2023-10-15 13:32:45 來源:中國教育在線
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高分學(xué)生考前練習(xí)作文
(注:此文已更正語言錯(cuò)誤,原文請見附錄)
My contention is that spending time on watching TV and following people's favorite team will have negative influence on individuals'life.
Admittedly, people will have more interests to do sports since they are affected by the teams'achievements. My brother Tom is a case to the point. He was a big fan of football. He watched all the competitions of his favorite team, the Zhejiang team in different seasons. Since he saw so many achievement of Zhejiang team, he became interested in this activity. When he was eight years old, every day after school, he would gather his friend and play football. He even became the leader in his school team to attend different competition. However, I still reckon that the time on following team and watching TV will lead to various negative impacts. There are two chief reasons mentioned below.
First, individuals who love watching TV for a long time will have larger possibility to become obesity or get other illness. Joe serves as an example; he loved watching TV, especially the sport program. In the summer holiday, he spent almost 5 hours every day on watching his favorite team to play soccer. Although the team he liked was from Europe and the World cup competition started at mid-night, he still kept watching this competition at two o'clock in the early morning. What is worse, at that time, he would always feel hungry and ate junk food such as pizza and fried chickens or potatoes. After this holiday, he gained three kilograms and became too fat to do some work and always felt tired.
Second, the irregular life will let persons lose their efficiency to study or work. Mark is a case to illustrate this. He loved the British team so much and kept awake at mid-night or early morning just to watch the team attending competition. In that time he always went to sleep at four or five o'clock in the morning and got up to work at seven o'clock. The huge shortage of sleep caused him to feel dizzy during the work and he also lacked the vigorous mentality to deal with arduous tasks. He sometimes would arrive late at company not even to mention finishing his work on time. Mark became a terrible employee in the company and caused a serious consequence, losing his job.
To put it into a nutshell, there is no denying that people will gain negative result if they use too much time on watching TV and following their favorite team.
在分析這篇文章的時(shí)候,我們首先把文章中的以下幾句話抽出來。
Admittedly, people will have more interests to do sports since they are affected by the teams‘? achievements.
However, I still reckon that the time on following team and watching TV will lead to various negative impacts. There are two chief reasons mentioned below.
First, individuals who love watching TV for a long time will have larger possibility to become obesity or get other illness.
Second, the irregular life will let persons lose their efficiency to study or work.
可以看出,這幾句話是段首句,在文章中起到了提綱挈領(lǐng)的作用。所以建議大家在寫作的時(shí)候,把上述幾句話先打出來,這樣自己的思路清楚了,而且考官看的也清楚。以往大家寫文章的順序是從頭寫到尾,因?yàn)樵诩埳闲形囊仓荒苋绱?但是,托福寫作是在電腦上打字,考官看到的是后完整的文章,而看不到寫作的先后順序,所以完全沒有必要按照先后順序去打字,而是按照內(nèi)容的重要性來打字。也就是說,重要內(nèi)容先打,次要內(nèi)容后打。所以正確的行文順序是中間段落段首句也就是說,重要內(nèi)容先打,次要內(nèi)容后打。所以正確的行文順序是中間段落段首句→中間段落→首末段。而且,F(xiàn)irst和Second之后的兩句話,主語是不一樣的,體現(xiàn)句式的變化。
關(guān)于這篇文章,大家還有幾個(gè)疑問。讓步段一定要寫么?文章中間段落寫幾段?多少單詞?這些問題是沒有固定答案的,寫法因人而異。如果不寫讓步段,只寫一邊,支持的理由寫3點(diǎn)或者反對的理由寫3點(diǎn),也是可以的。但是問題的一邊想到3點(diǎn)相當(dāng)難,所以可以采取1∶2的方式去寫。通過上千學(xué)生上考場考試反饋過來的情況看,單一型題目寫1∶2,每個(gè)段落120-140單詞,中間3個(gè)段落加起來400單詞左右,是合適也是容易操作的。
段首句寫完后,不說理,直接舉例子,這樣可以嗎?再次引用前一章節(jié)引述過的OG上的兩句話:“The telling of stories—real and hypothetical—is not inappropriate; it is reasonable to illustrate one's ideas on this topic with examples.”“using clearly appropriate explanations, exemplifications, and/or details”。這說明舉例子是完全可行的。說實(shí)話,舉例比說理簡單。中國學(xué)生的說理,其實(shí)在很大程度上就是把一句話翻來覆去顛來倒去的說,毫無邏輯可言。而且,這篇文章的一個(gè)優(yōu)勢是把例子舉的非常具體,不是蜻蜓點(diǎn)水般點(diǎn)過。托福獨(dú)立寫作的例子并不需要像GRE ISSUE那樣用真實(shí)的、高大上的例子,可以用編造的生活中的小例子。
首段這么短,可以嗎?很多考生用慣了模板,首段動(dòng)輒100+單詞,但是真正自己寫的話很少。如果獨(dú)立寫作想上到Good檔,有兩個(gè)“嚴(yán)禁”:嚴(yán)禁模板+嚴(yán)禁抄題目。首段其實(shí)不需要很多廢話,直接表明自己的觀點(diǎn)就可以?;蛘卟捎谩艾F(xiàn)象反駁式”,即首段的第一句話引出一種現(xiàn)象,而第二句話反駁這種現(xiàn)象,從而引出自己的觀點(diǎn)。
這篇文章400出頭的字?jǐn)?shù),會(huì)不會(huì)太短?可以這么說,初中水平的考生,稍加訓(xùn)練,就可以上到Fair檔。但是,大多數(shù)學(xué)生的分?jǐn)?shù)也就是Fair檔,上到Good檔的確實(shí)不多。即使有些人考場上打了600+字?jǐn)?shù),也只有Fair;而反過來,有考生考場上打了320詞,也可以上到Good。據(jù)我不完全統(tǒng)計(jì),考場作文能上到380+字?jǐn)?shù),離題不要太離譜,都可以上到Fair檔。但是,能否上到Good,很大程度上取決于語言的精準(zhǔn)性。一個(gè)人出錯(cuò)的概率是擺在那里的,寫的越多,錯(cuò)的也越多;另外,在規(guī)定時(shí)間內(nèi),寫的越多,勢必時(shí)間緊張,而語言質(zhì)量就得不到確保。
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