雅思大作文范文分析

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題目：In the developed world, average life expectancy is increasing. What problems will this cause for individuals and society? Suggest some measures that could be taken to reduce the impact of ageing populations.

審題：審題即讀懂題目并確定要寫什么。題目給出了背景發(fā)達國家人均壽命在上升，寫作任務(wù)有2個對個人和社會會造成什么問題采取什么措施來減少人口老齡化的影響。要圍繞這三個部分來構(gòu)思ideas、替換表達、組織段落。

范文：

It is true that people in industrialised nations can expect to live longer than ever before. Although there will undoubtedly be some negative consequences of this trend, societies can take steps to mitigate these potential problems.

解析：開頭段改述題目背景并初步回應(yīng)寫作任務(wù)。第一句改述背景，第二句回應(yīng)兩個寫作任務(wù)。語法方面使用了it句，although，there be。下劃線為常用表達。話題相關(guān)同義替換整理如下：

As people live longer and the populations of developed countries grow older,several related problems can be anticipated. The main issue is that there will obviously be more people of retirement age who will be eligible to receive a pension. The proportion of younger, working adults will be smaller, and governments will therefore receive less money in taxes in relation to the size of the population. In other words, an ageing population will mean a greater tax burden for working adults. Further pressures will include a rise in the demand for healthcare, and the fact young adults will increasingly have to look after their elderly relatives.

解析：主體段1回應(yīng)第一個寫作任務(wù)。采用總分結(jié)構(gòu)，中心句引出問題，然后用4句話談?wù)摿?方面的問題，包括個人和社會這是有些考生會在構(gòu)思和寫作過程中忽略的問題，寫作任務(wù)是對個人和社會造成的問題，因此一定要從這兩個方面能去思考ideas。下劃線為固定表達或連接短語。語法方面使用了狀語從句、被動語態(tài)、比較級、復(fù)合句、將來時等。話題相關(guān)表達整理如下：

in the developed world=the populations of developed countries

老齡化= people live longer = populations grow older = ageing population

退休/領(lǐng)退休金=people of retirement age = be eligible to receive a pension

年輕人減少=The proportion of younger, working adults will be smaller

政府稅收減少 = governments will therefore receive less money in taxes

醫(yī)療需求增加=a rise in the demand for healthcare

從寫作思路來看，Simon從顯而易見的事實入手，即老齡化=老年人增加和年輕人減少，這樣一分為二的思考可以延伸出相關(guān)的ideas，在寫作過程中也可以展示話題相關(guān)詞匯的豐富性，比如年輕人可以用younger adults, working adults, young adults。關(guān)于某個現(xiàn)象引起的問題，可以從變化的角度去思考，比如文中提到的，老年人增加，即領(lǐng)退休金的人增加；年輕人減少，造成政府相應(yīng)稅收減少；老年人增加，年輕人更加需要照顧老年親屬。這樣的審題思路，可以用于類似題目，圍繞話題相關(guān)的人和趨勢變化來構(gòu)思寫作。

There are several actions that governments could take to solve the problems described above.Firstly, a simple solution would be toincrease the retirement age for working adults, perhaps from 65 to 70. Nowadays, people of this age tend to be healthy enough to continue a productive working life. A second measure would be for governments to encourage immigration in order to increase the number of working adults who pay taxes. Finally, money from national budgets will need to be taken from other areas and spent on vital healthcare, accommodation and transport facilities for the rising numbers of older citizens.

解析：主體段2回應(yīng)第二個寫作任務(wù)。采用總分結(jié)構(gòu)，中心句承上啟下概括本段內(nèi)容。三個分論點也都是常識：延遲退休，鼓勵移民，相應(yīng)的經(jīng)費投入。下劃線為常用表達。語法方面準確使用了各種情態(tài)動詞，從句，句子成分豐富而結(jié)構(gòu)緊湊。話題相關(guān)表達整理如下：

延長退休年齡：increase the retirement age， from 65 to 70

有能力工作更長時間：be healthy enough to continue a productive working life

增加納稅人數(shù)量： increase the number of working adults who pay taxes

老齡化的替換表達：the rising numbers of older citizen

In conclusion, various measures can be taken to tackle the problems that are certain to arise as the populations of countries grow older.

解析：結(jié)尾段概括全文，Simon用一句話整合了兩個寫作任務(wù)，是寫緊湊句子的典范，G友們可以反復(fù)閱讀這個句子，分析句子成分，學(xué)習(xí)寫作方法。

in the developed world people in industrialised nations

average life expectancy is increasingcan expect to live longer than ever before

problemssome negative consequences of this trend

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