雅思小作文怎么改開頭

雅思小作文怎么改開頭，為了幫助考生們更好地備考雅思寫作，今天中國教育在線就來為大家分析這個問題。

雅思小作文怎么改開頭

題目：

The cheap air flight gives people more choices of traveling,while the problems caused by this transportation should also be considered.

Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.

Along with the advances of society,an accumulating number of controversies have been bought to our attention,one of which is the cheap air flight.(開頭段太套了，最多不會超過5.5分).Quite a few people view that the inexpensive flight enhances the choices(改為efficiency and convenience更具體)of traveling.Nevertheless towards the same issue,many others point out that we are supposed to take the problems caused by this way(改稱its problems更簡潔)into consideration.(Both sides of the arguments have very strong feelings and reasons.)這句話可以不寫，太呆板了，建議你看幾篇考官范文的開頭段，找找感覺。

改版后開頭段：

The advances of society give rise to an accumulating number of controversies,one of which the cheap air flight.Conflicting with the problems it has caused,quite a few people view that the inexpensive flight enhance efficiency and convenience of traveling.

There are several reasons which(啰嗦刪掉)suggest that the cheap air flight is of great value for visitors traveling.To start with,it could exert conductive impact on economic thrift(加of an individual具體一些).That is to say,the prices of airplane tickets could be affordable for an increasing number of tourists who may have a spot of budget.(In this respect,the public must be in great favor of such a vehicle.)In addition,it enables passengers to save much time on transport.When they are confronted with the emergent situations,the cheap flight will be given to the top priority,because of the high efficiency.

分析：

用詞還可以，寫作內(nèi)容基本清晰，但是明顯感覺到刻意使用一些連接手段，顯得有點刻板。

簡單修改一下：

Advocates of this believe that both the common price and the traveling efficiency should not be ignored.Firstly,the price of an airplane ticket could be affordable for an increasing number of tourists who may have a spot of budget.In this respect,the public must be in great favor of such a vehicle.In addition,a flight enables passengers to save much time on transport.Especially when they are confronted with the emergent situations,the cheap flight will be given to the top priority,because of the high efficiency with low cost.

今天“雅思小作文怎么改開頭”的全部內(nèi)容就是這些啦，希望以上信息能對烤鴨們的寫作有所助益。另外建議懵懂的烤鴨們多研讀考官滿分范文，同學(xué)們可以參考以上相關(guān)內(nèi)容為自己的考試作準(zhǔn)備哦

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