雅思寫(xiě)作怎么提高到6分教你寫(xiě)一篇好文章
2024-07-14 17:18:36 來(lái)源:中國(guó)教育在線(xiàn)
雅思寫(xiě)作怎么提高到6分?教你寫(xiě)一篇好文章,很多同學(xué)對(duì)于這個(gè)問(wèn)題有疑問(wèn)和不解,那么下面就跟著中國(guó)教育在線(xiàn)的小編詳細(xì)了解一下吧。
針對(duì)人群
需要提升寫(xiě)作尤其是雅思考試需求的學(xué)生
本篇重點(diǎn):結(jié)合寫(xiě)作評(píng)分標(biāo)準(zhǔn)細(xì)則對(duì)劍橋考官展示范文進(jìn)行詳細(xì)解析
分享嘉賓
分享概要
? 陳穎老師告訴大家什么樣的文章才是一篇雅思的好文章,幫助學(xué)生消除一些雅思寫(xiě)作的錯(cuò)誤認(rèn)知。
小貼士
今天的文章可能會(huì)有一丟丟晦澀,各位備考雅思托福的小伙伴要仔細(xì)研讀哦~
C9 T1
Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary school rather than secondary school. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?
準(zhǔn)備工作
審題
1. 問(wèn)題是什么?
題干首先描述了背景,有的專(zhuān)家認(rèn)為孩子應(yīng)該從小學(xué)而非中學(xué)就開(kāi)始學(xué)習(xí)外語(yǔ),而真正的問(wèn)題是,讓孩子在小學(xué)(而非中學(xué))就開(kāi)始接受外語(yǔ)教育的優(yōu)點(diǎn)是否大于缺點(diǎn)?實(shí)際是需要你去分析這樣做的優(yōu)缺點(diǎn),然后將其進(jìn)行比較。
2. 對(duì)象和范圍
題干中描述的很清楚,對(duì)象即為children, 而討論的范圍則是針對(duì)learning a foreign language in primary school 和learning a foreign language in secondary school.
需要將這兩個(gè)的優(yōu)缺點(diǎn)進(jìn)行對(duì)比。
3. 題型
這道題屬于觀點(diǎn)類(lèi)的題型,需要你給出優(yōu)缺點(diǎn),并進(jìn)行比較。
4.列觀點(diǎn)
小學(xué)就開(kāi)始進(jìn)行外語(yǔ)教育 - 學(xué)習(xí)的時(shí)間更充裕 - 更好地掌握外語(yǔ),打好基礎(chǔ)
中學(xué)開(kāi)始進(jìn)行外語(yǔ)教育 - 受母語(yǔ)思維的影響 - 學(xué)習(xí)效果不好
5. 組織語(yǔ)言
2
標(biāo)準(zhǔn)Task Response
Task Response
1. all parts of the topic are responded to well
段1:children對(duì)應(yīng)題干children;
begun learning foreign languages對(duì)應(yīng)題干begin learning a foreign language;
at secondary school, introduce them earlier, educational authorities or individual schools對(duì)應(yīng)題干primary school和secondary school;
some educationalists對(duì)應(yīng)題干some experts;
both positive and negative outcomes對(duì)應(yīng)題干advantages 和disadvantages。
段2: young children對(duì)應(yīng)children (at primary school);
adolescents 對(duì)應(yīng)children ( at secondary school);
pick up languages, learning another language對(duì)應(yīng)learning a foreign language。
段3: the primary timetable 對(duì)應(yīng)at primary school;
learning other languages對(duì)應(yīng)learning a foreign language。
段4:disadvantages對(duì)應(yīng)disadvantages;
primary school teachers對(duì)應(yīng)at primary school;
primary language teaching對(duì)應(yīng)learning a foreign language at primary school;
secondary schools對(duì)應(yīng)secondary school。
段5:language learning對(duì)應(yīng)learning a foreign language;
earlier exposure to language learning 對(duì)應(yīng)learning a foreign language at primary school;
young children對(duì)應(yīng)children。
2. all parts of the question are responded to well
題干的問(wèn)題是讓孩子在小學(xué)就開(kāi)始接受外語(yǔ)教育的優(yōu)點(diǎn)是不是多余缺點(diǎn)?即需要分別舉出優(yōu)點(diǎn)和缺點(diǎn),同時(shí)將其進(jìn)行對(duì)比。
段2:The obvious argument in its favor is that...;
段3:The greater flexibility...分別是對(duì)這樣做之后多產(chǎn)生的積極影響,即優(yōu)點(diǎn)的論述。
段4:There are,however, some advantages.是對(duì)其缺點(diǎn),不足的論述。
句13提出這些缺點(diǎn)是可以克服的,表明自己的觀點(diǎn)認(rèn)為優(yōu)點(diǎn)大于缺點(diǎn)。
同時(shí)在段4對(duì)缺點(diǎn)的論述中對(duì)照之前對(duì)優(yōu)點(diǎn)的論述,進(jìn)行對(duì)比,例如:..., the flexibility referred above is diminished.
段5: 表明自己的觀點(diǎn)支持從小接觸外語(yǔ)學(xué)習(xí),一定程度上回答了問(wèn)題,認(rèn)為優(yōu)點(diǎn)多于缺點(diǎn)。
所以,范文對(duì)問(wèn)題的各個(gè)部分都做出了回應(yīng)。
3. main ideas are clear
文章的主體段應(yīng)該是段2,3,4.我們分別找他們的main idea.
段2:main idea 應(yīng)該是句3 The obvious argument in its favor...支持孩子從小學(xué)就開(kāi)始學(xué)習(xí)外語(yǔ)的一個(gè)觀點(diǎn)就是兒童比青少年更容易習(xí)得語(yǔ)言。
段3:main idea 是句5,The greater flexibility...小學(xué)時(shí)間安排的靈活性可以提供孩子更多的時(shí)間接觸外語(yǔ),從而確保他們對(duì)語(yǔ)言學(xué)習(xí)的熱情以及多能取得的進(jìn)步。
段4:main idea是句8,點(diǎn)出有多個(gè)disadvantages。
4. explanation/examples of main ideas are clear
我們依然分析主體段。
段2的邏輯:句3 main idea,提出兒童比青少年更容易習(xí)得語(yǔ)言。句4則是對(duì)句3的解釋?zhuān)驗(yàn)樵谀莻€(gè)階段,兒童還在學(xué)習(xí)母語(yǔ),可以促進(jìn)他們對(duì)外語(yǔ)的接收學(xué)習(xí)。
段3的邏輯:句5 main idea,提出小學(xué)的時(shí)間安排更加寬裕,讓孩子取得進(jìn)步,同時(shí)保持學(xué)習(xí)的熱情。句6,7 補(bǔ)充說(shuō)明早期的外語(yǔ)學(xué)習(xí)促進(jìn)他們?nèi)蘸蟮恼Z(yǔ)言學(xué)習(xí)和發(fā)展,同時(shí)加深他們對(duì)其他文化的了解。
段4的邏輯:句8 首先轉(zhuǎn)折開(kāi)始討論disadvantages. 句9提出不足可能在于小學(xué)老師可能不具備專(zhuān)業(yè)的語(yǔ)言教學(xué)能力。句10 照應(yīng)段3,引入專(zhuān)家即對(duì)段3 的flexibility這一優(yōu)點(diǎn)進(jìn)行否定,句9問(wèn)題難以用此方法解決。
句11,12 則是對(duì)將會(huì)產(chǎn)生的后果的闡述。句13 However, 在此轉(zhuǎn)折,提出這些可能的問(wèn)題都是可以被解決的,一定程度上表明作者的觀點(diǎn),認(rèn)為優(yōu)點(diǎn)大于缺點(diǎn)。
3
Cohesion and Coherence
1. good overall structure
范文的邏輯是十分清晰的。
段1:描述背景,表明在小學(xué)就開(kāi)始接受外語(yǔ)學(xué)習(xí)的話(huà)既有優(yōu)點(diǎn)又有缺點(diǎn)。
段2,3 :對(duì)這樣做優(yōu)點(diǎn)的陳述,涉及了支持孩子從小學(xué)就開(kāi)始學(xué)習(xí)外語(yǔ)的客觀原因以及會(huì)產(chǎn)生的結(jié)果兩個(gè)方面。
段4:句8 however轉(zhuǎn)折,從段2,3 對(duì)優(yōu)點(diǎn)的描述過(guò)渡到對(duì)缺點(diǎn)的描述。論述過(guò)程照應(yīng)段3,句13又提出這些缺點(diǎn)是可以解決的,表明了作者認(rèn)為優(yōu)點(diǎn)大于缺點(diǎn)的態(tài)度。
段5:進(jìn)行總結(jié)。直接表明觀點(diǎn)早期學(xué)習(xí)外語(yǔ)更有利于對(duì)語(yǔ)言以及文化的掌握。
2. the first paragraph clearly introduces the essay
句1是照應(yīng)題干背景的描述,句2提出這樣做既有優(yōu)點(diǎn)又有缺點(diǎn),引出下文對(duì)優(yōu)點(diǎn)和缺點(diǎn)的描述。
3. topic sentences introduce paragraphs well
對(duì)主體段進(jìn)行分析。
段2:句3即為main idea, 提出了孩子在兒童階段更加容易學(xué)習(xí)語(yǔ)言。陳述了支持孩子從小學(xué)就開(kāi)始學(xué)習(xí)外語(yǔ)的一個(gè)客觀原因。
段3:句5同為main idea,對(duì)假如這樣做之后,產(chǎn)生的積極影響來(lái)陳述它的優(yōu)點(diǎn)。
段4:句8為main idea,開(kāi)始轉(zhuǎn)而論述disadvantages。
4. clear central topic within each paragraph
這一點(diǎn)與之前的main idea相似。
段2:The obvious argument in its favor...支持孩子從小學(xué)就開(kāi)始學(xué)習(xí)外語(yǔ)的一個(gè)觀點(diǎn)就是兒童比青少年更容易習(xí)得語(yǔ)言。從客觀原因上分析了孩子從小開(kāi)始學(xué)習(xí)外語(yǔ)的好處。
段3:The greater flexibility...小學(xué)時(shí)間安排的靈活性可以提供孩子更多的時(shí)間接觸外語(yǔ),從而確保他們對(duì)語(yǔ)言學(xué)習(xí)的熱情以及多能取得的進(jìn)步??赡墚a(chǎn)生的積極影響上面論述這樣做的優(yōu)點(diǎn)。
段4:Primary school teachers...小學(xué)老師往往注重了解多方面的知識(shí),所以可能缺乏專(zhuān)業(yè)的語(yǔ)言教學(xué)能力。從小學(xué)老師的能力方面分析缺點(diǎn)。
5. logical paragraph development
段1:背景描述,引出話(huà)題。
段2,3:對(duì)讓孩子從小學(xué)開(kāi)始學(xué)習(xí)外語(yǔ)的優(yōu)點(diǎn)的描述。
段4: 陳述缺點(diǎn)。句8轉(zhuǎn)折,從段2,3 討論優(yōu)點(diǎn)轉(zhuǎn)而討論缺點(diǎn)。句13,表明自己的態(tài)度,認(rèn)為這些缺點(diǎn)是可以解決的,所以?xún)?yōu)點(diǎn)多于缺點(diǎn)。
段5:總結(jié),再次表明自己的觀點(diǎn)。
6. linking phrases are used well
段1:Traditionally, (副詞做狀語(yǔ))
children have begun studying foreign languages at secondary school, (照應(yīng)題干,children,learning a foreign language, secondary school)
but introducing them earlier is recommended by some educationalists.(but 轉(zhuǎn)折,them指代foreign languages,earlier照應(yīng)題干primary school, educationalists照應(yīng)experts)
This policy(指代introducing them earlier)
..., with both positive and negative outcomes.(照應(yīng)advantages, disadvantages,引出對(duì)優(yōu)缺點(diǎn)的論述)
段2:The obvious argument in its favor( its 指代begin learning a foreign language at primary school)
is that young children(指代children at primary school)
...than teenagers(指代children at secondary school).
Their brains are...(Their 指代young children)
, which facilitates learning another language,(照應(yīng)learning a foreign language)
and unlike adolescents, (照應(yīng)teenagers)
they are not ...(they 指代young children)
段3:...of the primary timetable(照應(yīng) at primary school)
..., thus maintaining...(thus表述因果)
Their command of the language...(Their指代前面learners)
from this early exposure,(early exposure指代learning a foreign language at primary school)
while learning...(while表示與此同時(shí))
They may also...(They 指代learners,also表示補(bǔ)充,也)
段4:There are, however, some disadvantages.( There be句型,however轉(zhuǎn)折)
Primary school teachers...(照應(yīng)primary school)
If specialists(對(duì)照experts)
have..., the flexibility referred to above...(照應(yīng)段3,對(duì)其進(jìn)行否定)
If primary language teaching is ...(照應(yīng)learning a foreign language at primary school)
, secondary schools could be ...(照應(yīng)secondary school)(虛擬語(yǔ)氣)
There is no advantage(There be 句型,照應(yīng)advantages)
if enthusiastic primary pupils...(照應(yīng)段3 maintaining learners enthusiasm, primary pupils 照應(yīng)children at primary school)
However, (轉(zhuǎn)折)
these issues(照應(yīng)句9-12)
can be addresses strategically within the policy(指代讓孩子從小學(xué)開(kāi)始學(xué)習(xí)外語(yǔ))
adopted.(表明觀點(diǎn),認(rèn)為優(yōu)點(diǎn)大于缺點(diǎn))
段5:Anything which (定語(yǔ)從句)
encourages language learning(照應(yīng)learning a foreign language)
..., and early exposure(照應(yīng)之前exposure,指代learning a foreign language at primary school)
to language learning contributes to this. (this 指代benefits society culturally and economically)
Young childrens ...make these benefits more achievable.(benefits 照應(yīng)benefits society culturally and economically)
4
Lexical Resources
1. appropriate word choices
這一項(xiàng)標(biāo)準(zhǔn)主要包括兩個(gè)方面:一方面是搭配是否地道,即collocation(詞伙)的使用是否正確。
這就要求我們?cè)趯W(xué)習(xí)單詞時(shí)以詞伙為單位進(jìn)行記憶,多關(guān)注搭配,而不是簡(jiǎn)單地背單詞。
另一方面是語(yǔ)義、語(yǔ)域是否恰當(dāng)。語(yǔ)域可分為中性、正式、非正式,又可分成口語(yǔ)和書(shū)面語(yǔ)。
雅思寫(xiě)作中要求的是中性或正式的書(shū)面語(yǔ)。我們可以看到范文中是沒(méi)有非正式或口語(yǔ)化的表達(dá)出現(xiàn)的。
2. control of word endings/forms
這一點(diǎn)一方面是指不同詞性的熟練轉(zhuǎn)換和應(yīng)用。
另一方面,名詞的單復(fù)數(shù)結(jié)尾、動(dòng)詞的各種形式,也在該標(biāo)準(zhǔn)的考量范圍之內(nèi)。
例如:benefit (n/v)--benefits societymake these benefits more achievable;enthusiasm- enthusiastic。
3. repetition is avoided
這條標(biāo)準(zhǔn)是我們耳熟能詳?shù)模禾鎿Q詞的使用。
我們舉一些范文中的替換表達(dá):
Children: young children, teenagers, adolescents, learners, primary pupils
Learning a foreign language: studying languages, pick up languages, learning another language, learning other languages, language learning
Learning a foreign language at primary school: early exposure to language learning, primary language teaching
Benefits society culturally and economically: these benefits
Advantages, disadvantages: positive and negative outcomes, the obvious argument in its favor
4. spelling is correct
無(wú)須多言,除了平時(shí)練習(xí)后可找同學(xué)/老師批改外,也可以把文本輸入電腦檢查。
5
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
1. a variety of sentence structures are used
關(guān)于語(yǔ)法的兩大標(biāo)準(zhǔn)中,grammatical range是比較難把握的,也很難用一兩句話(huà)說(shuō)清楚。
我們只有通過(guò)不斷地分析范文來(lái)揣摩。在第一篇的分析中,我們只作簡(jiǎn)單句/并列句和復(fù)雜句的區(qū)分。
【開(kāi)頭段】
句1:并列句
句2:簡(jiǎn)單句
【主體段1】
句3:復(fù)雜句
句4:并列句套復(fù)雜句
【主體段2】
句5:復(fù)雜句
句6:復(fù)雜句
句7:簡(jiǎn)單句
【主體段3】
句8:簡(jiǎn)單句
句9:并列句
句10:復(fù)雜句
句11:復(fù)雜句
句12:復(fù)雜句
句13:簡(jiǎn)單句
【總階段】
句14:并列句套復(fù)雜句
句15: 簡(jiǎn)單句
可以看出,全篇復(fù)雜句和簡(jiǎn)單句交替使用。范文多使用復(fù)雜句,但是主體段2,3 使用簡(jiǎn)單句結(jié)尾,主體段3用簡(jiǎn)單句進(jìn)行轉(zhuǎn)折,簡(jiǎn)潔明了,承接自然。
2. Articles
冠詞的正確使用??瓷先ズ芗?xì)節(jié),其實(shí)很重要。
3. sentence structures are correct
句法的正確性在語(yǔ)法評(píng)分中占比很高,如果有兩句以上句法出錯(cuò),語(yǔ)法分很容易降到5.5以下。所以請(qǐng)大家優(yōu)先確保句法正確,再去追求句式的復(fù)雜性和多樣性。
4. punctuation is correct
雅思作文中通常不出現(xiàn)疑問(wèn)句和感嘆句,所以最常用的標(biāo)點(diǎn)就是逗號(hào)和句號(hào),分號(hào)和引號(hào)偶爾使用。
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