4分雅思作文例子分析

4分雅思作文例子分析，很多同學(xué)對(duì)于這個(gè)問題有疑問和不解，那么下面就跟著中國(guó)教育在線的小編詳細(xì)了解一下吧。

Topic:

Universities should accept equal numbers of male and female students inevery subject. To what extent do you agree of disagree?

According to universities should accept equal numbers of male and femalestudents in every subject. Therefore, this essay will show some reasons ofargument for and argument against.

Firstly, I will discuss about two reasons of argument for to begin withuniversities should accept equal numbrs of male and female students in everysubject because it will be balance of idea while studying. In general, thereusually are different ideas between man and woman. These lead to new ideas fromdifferent vision will happen. Another reason is it display that have equal ofsociety not eccept in each side. In addition, nowadays, the most societiesbecome to accept ability of both in any way.

Secondly, I will discuss about one reason of arguments against that is somesubjects not suitable for each other. for example, some subjects of sports suchas weight putting. It is not suitable for female because there are different ofbody between male and female.

In conclusion, I agree with universities should accept equal numbers ofmale an female students in every subject. Moreover, it depend on what thesubjects that the students want to study, they can choose by themselves becauseI believe that if the students like to study their subjects, they will do itwell so that I strongly agree with this topic.

老師點(diǎn)評(píng)4分的主要失分點(diǎn)：

首先，該同學(xué)在語法上的缺陷是致命的，多數(shù)句子都不符合英語句子結(jié)構(gòu)的要求，如：These lead to new ideas fromdifferent vision will happen. Lead to已經(jīng)是謂語動(dòng)詞了，后面再出現(xiàn)willhappen就是錯(cuò)誤的，要知道后一個(gè)動(dòng)詞需要采取去動(dòng)詞性質(zhì)處理：This will lead to new ideas from differentperspectives happening 其實(shí)這句話也很羅嗦，完全可以改成：This will lead to a wider variety ofideas.

另外一句： Another reason is it display that have equal of society not eccept ineach side. 更是無法理解了， is, display, have 及accept統(tǒng)統(tǒng)是動(dòng)詞形態(tài)在句子中出現(xiàn)，但又沒有從句將這些動(dòng)詞分開，最終連成功解密過無數(shù)學(xué)生天書的我也不能理解他究竟想講什么了。

非常不幸的是在中國(guó)龐大的考鴨軍團(tuán)中，有1/2以上的考鴨們寫出來的英語句子與這位考生寫的同樣晦澀難懂。如果你的英語句子也存在這樣的基本語法錯(cuò)誤的話，我的建議是趕緊花上3-4天的時(shí)間解決這個(gè)問題，然后再moveon到雅思寫作上。

寫作建議NO.1：Write in an English way, and make your examiner smile J

按照英文的語法句式寫英文句子。

其次，這篇文章的論證邏輯混亂：第二段他想表達(dá)的是招同樣數(shù)量的男女生的好處，第三段要寫專業(yè)的不同會(huì)導(dǎo)致招收同樣數(shù)量的男女生是不現(xiàn)實(shí)的，最后收尾段寫道：最終我同意應(yīng)該招收同樣數(shù)量的男女生。從上面的兩段看下來，最后一段要寫的應(yīng)該是partiallyagree with the topic才對(duì)如果專業(yè)有較強(qiáng)的性別取向性，那么該topic不成立;如果專業(yè)對(duì)于兩性來說同樣的，那么一半對(duì)一半的搭配是值得推薦的。

寫作建議NO.2: Have your conclusion based on what you have expressed rather thanwhat you have conceived.

你的結(jié)論來自你的文章內(nèi)容，而不是你腦子中憑空構(gòu)思出的。

4分的雅思寫作分?jǐn)?shù)會(huì)很大程度上地拖累均分，從以上老師的分析也可以看出，雅思寫作很大的丟分點(diǎn)會(huì)在語法以及中國(guó)式英語上，總之，雅思寫作的重點(diǎn)就是要有地道的英語，同時(shí)整篇文章的邏輯和主線要清晰。

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