外國人的雅思寫作高分例文及點評
2024-08-09 14:06:36 來源:中國教育在線
隨著留學市場的不斷發(fā)展,越來越多的學生選擇留學。如果你也是想要留學的學生之一,那么你就需要參加語言考試,其中雅思托福就是最為常見的英語考試,下面中國教育在線外語頻道小編就為大家介紹一下外國人的雅思寫作高分例文及點評。
下面這篇在2004年考過兩次,內(nèi)容比較難寫,很多考生都構思不出內(nèi)容,因此,我請我的美國朋友按照雅思作文的套路寫了篇范文,大家可以學習一下里面的語言和內(nèi)容。
Unlike most countries, the police in the United Kingdom do not normally carry guns. Some people think it leaves the citizens unprotected, while others believe that this practice reduces the overall violence in society. Discuss both views and use your own experience and evidence.
Unlike most countries, the police in the United Kingdom do not normally carry guns. Some people think it leaves citizens unprotected, while others believe that this practi c e reduces the overall violence in society. Police having guns however is an issue secondary to criminals having guns. (45words)
結構分析:2+1模式,最后一句為主題句,明確地表達了自己的觀點。但是,前兩句的問題很嚴重,即照抄了題目。(這可能是我和老外沒有溝通好,在他所寫的所有例文中都出現(xiàn)了類似的情況,大家千萬不要學!!!)
Because criminals usually have access to guns, police officers need them in order to control crime. If police in the U.K. are able to go without guns and not have crime getting completely out of control then they have already set a fine example that other countries should follow. The fact that they are able to do this is an indication of their ability to control the flow of guns to the general populace and this makes citizens safer than anything else. To a civilian, taking guns away from criminals is more important than giving them to police. (98words)
For places that are not able to, or are unwilling to control this availability of guns to criminals, police have no choice. Countries with weak or ineffective gun laws, or countries bordering such countries, like Mexico which has strong gun laws, but virtually no way to prevent them from being smuggled over the border from the U.S., need a police force that is not only armed, but is armed better than the criminals. This 'domestic arms race' is the fate of any country that does not realize that civilians have no need of being armed and should have no access to weapons whatsoever.(103words)
The root of the problem is embarrassingly corrupt governments and ineffective half-measures taken to control the circulation of guns, which allows criminals to easily come into possession of guns. Nations around the world should hope to someday reach the point where their police force can afford not to carry guns and still be effective.(54words)
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