雅思作文怎么改拿高分

隨著人們經(jīng)濟水平的提高，對于很多家庭來說，留學(xué)不再是一個可望而不可及的事情，許多人都想要留學(xué)，那其中雅思作文怎么改拿高分？針對這個問題，下面中國教育在線小編就來和大家分享一下。

Undoubtly[MS4] , reading books is the most efficient and important way around the world . With a long and steady history, books stand [MS5] a unusual role in human life. Romantic and imaginary, we will lose ourselves in the gorgeous words and sentences.[MS6] Not only can we enjoy the beautiful description and mysterious imagination ,but we can also receive reliable news of society and history. [MS7] Once I read “Harry Potter”, a famous book , full of magic, which attracted me and brought me much western culture and human spirit. However, there is still something we could not obtain from books, such as what happened just now in the world.

According to the drawbacks of books, radio comes up for[MS8] improving. No matter what we do and where we are,listening to the radio is really a convenient mode to get information in time[MS9] . Instead of tiring reading, listening is still used for relaxing ,especially after work. For instance, when I finished [MS10] my homework at night, I will turn on the radio for BBC program for a while, just for fun and the news. [MS11]

Admittedly, when we hear sufficient affairs via radio, we then want a more direct way to receive message. Thus, a great invention---television [MS12] appears in our life. Through TV, we are easily able to see clearly what happens in the areas which we have not ever been to. Besides, seeing a film ,improving living skills gaining ecomomic knowledge,[MS13] etc, there are so many things we can do via TV . Apparently,[MS14] television changes our life directly, but things are not always perfect. Instead of [MS15] its advantages, it is harmful for our health. Watching to much will bring tiredness in our eyes which comes more serious to the youth.

All in all, with the dramatic increasing number of people using media, personnally, I tend to support the view that one should choose the best way to communicate information based on his or her ability and necessity , instead of popularity.

Comments

1. task response : it is not sufficient , but ok

2. coherence and cohesive: there are some erroneous collocations and phrases, but the whole progression is ok.

3. lexical resources: pay attention to your details. Not so good

4. Grammatical range and accuracy : sentence structure is good, despite some errs.

Maybe you will be granted as band 5 score.

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作文修改細節(jié)：

[MS1]不建議發(fā)展開頭，你可以嘗試其他的方式，有點像模版。

[MS2]Media是復(fù)數(shù)吧， 單數(shù)是 medium

[MS3]Communicate 人與人多一些，強調(diào)內(nèi)容最好用 convey 或者 transmit 好些。

[MS4]拼寫錯誤 undoubtedly,

[MS5]Play...role 為正統(tǒng)搭配詞。這個詞用這里so so.

[MS6]錯誤語法，缺少謂語動詞

[MS7]得分句型，很不錯

[MS8]come up for sth be considered as an applicant or a candidate for sth 作某事的`申請人或候選人：She comes up for re-election next year. 在明年的重選中她參加競選。

Show up / turn up 都可以的

[MS9]前面用過了，避免重復(fù)用promotly / instantly 都可以的

[MS10]時態(tài)錯誤，應(yīng)改為一般現(xiàn)在時

[MS11]And前后不是很對稱，應(yīng)改為refreshment

[MS12]Here punctuation is used inaccurately.

[MS13]這里語法很亂，改為原型，和前面的able to do 平列好些。

[MS14]應(yīng)該為因果關(guān)系

[MS15]改為 compared to

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